Let her go
by Mariion
Summary: Tony came back from Israel a few months earlier, without Ziva. Since that, his life has completely changed and nothing is the same for him. I am French so I am not fluent english; my text may contains some mistakes, I apologize.


**_NA : Of course, I do not own anything : nor the characters or NCIS. _**

_Ziva… Ziva… Ziva…_

Tony kept on saying her name in his head again and again because no one said it out loud anymore. Nobody here pronounced Ziva's name. It was like she has never existed or she has never belonged to Gibbs' team. It was like she never came into their lives and it was just unbearable for Tony. Since no one talked about her anymore, he had the feeling the years passed with her were just a dream, a beautiful and amazing dream from which he was awaken far too suddenly. Months passed since he came back from Israel but he had almost no memory of it. All he could think of was the last time he saw Ziva. He kept on wondering if he could have –or should have or must have- said something to make her come back with him. He repeated in his mind every single thing he has done or said and what she has done or said. He had been perfectly honest with her. _I am fighting for you, Ziva_… He could not hold it back any more, she had to know. When he finally found her, they were closer than ever. Everything felt so right… He remembered how soft was her cheek under his finger and how her tears made him feel like; He remembered the sound of her broken voice when she said goodbye and he remembered how she stood, decided and resigned, in front of him. Most of all, he remembered her lips when they kissed. They both knew it was supposed to end that way between them. All the tension was gone; the urge to kiss her remained. He had already kissed her and stuff when they were under cover but this time, it was true. It was real. He had never thought their first kiss would also be their last though. He had never thought they would be apart someday. He had always thought she'd stay in the team forever. Though months had passed since his come-back, he still could not believe Ziva was truly gone. Sometimes he was almost wondering if he had not imagined her, since nobody seemed to actually remember her. How could they forget her so easily while she was always on his mind? Every time he closed his eyes, she was there. Smiling, laughing, calling for him. No way to sleep. But Ziva David was no dream. She had truly existed and she had belonged to their NCIS' family. She still belonged there actually, even though she was gone. No one could forget Ziva because she was simply unforgettable. But Gibbs and McGee were dealing with her departure better than him. They went on working as usual while Tony could barely think of other thing than Israel. Then, Tony noticed the look of Gibbs and McGee on Ziva's desk when they thought nobody was watching. They were missing her, too. Tony could see in their eyes they had the same problem: they did not want Ziva to be gone but they just had to deal with it because she would be so angry if they did not.

He sighed. He used to think he had a fun job –arresting criminals and foiling some terrorists' plans were pretty cool things- but since Ziva was gone, it looked like his job was a lot less fun than usual.

Tony shook his head when realizing McGee was talking to him.

"Sorry, McDreambreaker, I haven't heard what you said." Tony said.

Then he smiled. Tony still smiled a lot but these past few weeks, if his lips were smiling, his eyes weren't.

"I was saying that maybe it was time to… you know… replace Ziva."

Replace Ziva… It was impossible. God knows they have tried, four years ago. Ziva had returned to the Mossad after Tony had killed Rivkin. Two months later, she disappeared with the cargo she was onboard. They thought she was dead. Tony could still remember how empty he felt at the time. Then he had decided to go and avenge her. Instead of revenge, he had found her. His wrists were tied, he was thirsty and tired but when the terrorist took off the sack which was hiding Ziva, Tony had felt nothing but joy and relief. She was alive… Anyways. Before they found her, they tried to replace her. The team needed a fourth member –a woman, actually. They interviewed many young women but none of them was good enough to replace Ziva David.

"No one can replace Ziva." Tony murmured.

"The team always had four members. You think she'll come back?"

Tony looked at McGee.

"Sorry, McHope, but she won't come back. She needs a new life, with no one in it to bring her back where she comes from."

McGee nodded. He seemed to understand. At least one person could understand…Sometimes, Tony could barely understand himself why he did surrender so easily.

"Gibbs doesn't want to replace her either." McGee said. "Neither does Abby."

It was true but life had to go on. Ziva was not dead. She just chose another path. She made her choice, knowing the consequences, and they had to respect the choice they did not make.

"Let's stay like this, McGee." Tony said. "After all, we are good enough to resolve all the cases by ourselves. As long as you follow my orders, you have nothing to…"

"You are not the boss, Tony."

"I am the boss substitute!"

"We don't need a boss substitute since the boss is…"

"Excuse me?"

They both turned to the one who just apologized. She was a young woman, blonde with brown or green eyes. She smiled at them.

"May I help you, young lady?" Tony asked.

"I am waiting for agent Gibbs. I work with you on this case."

"We don't need any help…"

"But you need the ability of an NSA officer." She interrupted him softly.

She did not wait for any answer and went to sit behind Ziva's desk. Tony and McGee exchanged a look. An eternity earlier, Ziva walked into this room and sat behind Kate's desk, just like the young woman did.

"Gibbs will make you move." Tony said.

He had said pretty much the exact same thing to Ziva the first time he saw her. Indeed, Gibbs had wanted to make her move but Ziva knew how impose herself.

The young woman shrugged, still smiling.

"By the way" Tim said. "You haven't even told us your name."

She looked at them right into the eyes.

"Bishop. Ellie Bishop." She replied. "Nice to meet you."


End file.
